“The past has no power over the present.” by Eckhart Tolle
I have started to see the “back to school” ads and school buses back on the roads again. School is starting up all over the country. I remember when my now grown children were still in school and it seemed like the new year began when school started again even more than New Year’s Day. My kids would be excited about seeing old friends, wearing their new outfits and buying the latest fad in bookbags. However, when their school teacher assignment arrived in the mail prior to the first day the mood would often change. They would begin defining the new school year and teacher based on past comments learned from other friends or siblings that been through that grade. To try and bring some calmness to the anxiety – rising more and more with each new story – I would launch into the coach role and would remind them to give the teacher a fair chance and look at the year as a blank canvas waiting for them to put their own unique prints and story on it.
Thinking about this time of year made me also think about people who are beginning a new life after their divorce. There are so many new fears, new hopes and new plans (good and bad) – a new year is definitely coming. To use the same phrase I have used in my home and with clients for years, I am now putting it out there to you as well. Your past certainly has played a significant role in shaping your current circumstances. However, your future is still waiting to be lived out day-by-day. You really do have a life canvas in front of you. So, here are 3 points for moving on I encourage you to evaluate as you think about how you will draw out your future.
What 10 habits, values or messages from your married years do you choose to take with you into your future life?
What 10 habits, values or messages from your married years do you choose to NOT take with you into your future life?
What 10 habits, values or messages do you choose to create in your new life future?
Somewhere along my own life journey I picked up an old saying that I probably repeat to myself no less than once a month. You may have heard or even use it as well and I thought now is a good time to repeat it for you, “You can’t be looking forward if you are always looking in the rear view mirror.” Take some time and look in the past and see what pieces of that life aren’t serving you well and let go of them, take with you the good pieces of that life and be at peace with them and then intentionally turn and look forward – there is a future waiting on you with a new normal, a new day and a new year.
Blessings on your journey,